make your bed

what I lost during a recent vacation and what I am still struggling to find

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We’ve talked a lot about habits, rituals, and routines here at project kathekon. The importance of finding motivation in the gradual progress one attains through continual practice; the beauty that can be found in the seemingly mundane; the joy in little things done daily; the importance of doing just one push-up. Yet, most of this is written from the perspective of being in an ever growing trend line of progress.  We haven’t really talked about what happens when you take a break from the daily rituals and struggle to get back in the habit.

I recently had the chance to take some much needed time with my family in California. With vacations more or less nonexistent the past 18 months,¹ we figured that we could go all-out into this time away from our normal. And we had big plans: we scouted out yoga studios, looked for places to take surfing lessons, found places to hike, made plans to see a few friends, brought eight books to read, carved out time to be alone in the woods - the list goes on.

And, on the whole, the time away was truly great. We really disconnected while there. I carved out time to run where I started strong with seven miles the first full day, and then barely getting seven in the next 13 days. We had some time with friends but not enough. I spent some time reading, but barely put a dent in those eight books I brought by reading three (and making my pile bigger with a few books I picked up along the way). And I was able to get my personal offsite in (more on this in a future newsletter)² which was one thing I nearly cancelled, but pushed through.

To be clear, I love all the things I set out to do: the yoga, the books, the runs, the time with friends.  But as Brandon said when I told him how sloth-like I was, he pointed out that  “vacation has to be a break from the things you love, too.” So, I cut myself some slack.

Me, these past few weeks

We intentionally came back on a Friday to give us the weekend to readjust to the time difference and to get back into the right mindset. Habits, rituals and routines would come back now that I was home.  I would progressively get up earlier on Saturday and Sunday, head to the gym or go for a run, put away our vacation clothes, read the books I didn’t get to while on vacation. 

Nope. As we headed into Sunday evening, I realized I had done none of those things. Was I more jet-lagged than usual? Sure, that felt like it was part of it but in reality, that should have only pushed the hours of the day back a bit. I still wasn’t doing a single thing I set out to do.

Figuring that my first Monday back would be the kick start I needed, I signed up for a swim lane in the pool; I cancelled that before going to bed. I did the same on Tuesday with yoga; signed up, only to cancel, while telling myself I’d still get up early (I didn’t). I made minimal progress on the book I was reading, did some half-assed yoga sessions at home and slogged through a couple of miles here and there. I stopped doing the 10thousand1 exercises, more or less cold turkey. Yes, the dips were harder physically for me than any other month’s exercise, but I’ve learned that getting through is primarily a mental struggle, and I just didn’t have the motivation to do it. I kept punting my tasks in my Bullet Journal from one day to the next. Heck - the fact that we’ve had fewer newsletters these past few weeks has a direct through line to being on vacation and never really getting back into my routine.

Then when I came upstairs and looked into my bedroom, it dawned on me: I hadn’t made my bed in weeks. Ever since that first morning at the beach house, I hadn’t made my bed properly: pillows in the right place, sheets pulled up, comforter aligned and smoothed. Some days I’d have a single element of a fully-made bed, but most days it lay exactly the same as the day before: unkempt.  

My wife even noticed that I was guilty of dereliction of duty. She’s been known to poke fun of me: as I have a tendency make the bed the second we’re both out of it despite the fact that one of the two parties may not be completely ready to get up.

It is this dereliction of duty that made me remember the following from Admiral William H. McRaven:

If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed.

He had spoken the words at the University of Texas at Austin’s graduation back in 2014 and which was then published as the book, Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life...and Maybe The World.³  Full disclosure, I never listened to the speech, nor read the book, but that’s the great thing about the simplicity of the title on its own. 

Making one’s bed in the morning sets in motion a series of positive actions that compound like interest in a bank account. I neglected to put those first dollars to start the day and was left bankrupt of those actions that bring me joy. It’s not a shock that I, like most parents, ask, nay, tell, okay, bribe, my kids to make their bed daily. I know it’s the first step towards a more fulfilling day, and I want them to experience that, too.

So this morning, as a way to pull myself out of this motivation rut, I made my bed. I’ll let you know how it goes. In the meantime, let us know what you find helpful as a way to jump start your habits, rituals and routines again.

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in case you missed it

Let’s have a look at what’s been happening at project kathekon:

recently at project kathekon

• Jeremy shared how he takes the lead from a fine feathered friends.

• That’s about it. As we mentioned above, it’s been a bit of a motivation and prioritization issue of late here at project kathekon.

books, jerry. they (still) read books.

Did you know we have a book barter service at project kathekon? We now have two books to barter.  The first book on offer is Together by Dr. Vivek Murthy from Jeremy.

Our second, Lincoln’s Virtues: An Ethical Biography, was offered by Andrew.

Already read one of them? Feel free to let others know in the comments section of each to let us know what you think. Have a book to share?

join us for August’s 10thousand1 challenge

We’re doing dips this month. 10,001 of them. And it sucks. No other way to say it. We have some new ideas in store for September to keep it interesting. Why not join us.

We have more in store for you. Until then, we encourage you to subscribe if you haven’t already, or share it with someone if you have already.

1. At least for those who have taken the virus seriously.

2. Quick summary, the 24 hours alone in the woods was inspirational, invaluable and intimidating. Who knew that the level of nighttime scariness is inversely proportional to the loudness?

3. As an affiliate of Bookshop.org (read: they are not Amazon), project kathekon will earn a commission if you click through and make a purchase. You’ll also help a local independent bookstore in your community.