the (not so) subtle art of peacocking

some avian advice for how to stand out

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During a recent call with a former colleague, he mentioned that my name came up in a conversation with a client of his.  He was talking with someone I hadn’t seen in years.  In fact, I only had a single brief interaction with this other individual - a few minutes at most. Yet when he mentioned my name, he was quickly interrupted:

Oh, you mean the one with the salmon-colored pants?

You’d think that this would have surprised me. It didn’t. This sort of thing happens quite often. And there’s a very good reason for it: you see, I’m a bit of a peacock. Not in the “how to catch a fish” kind of way which I discussed in detail here (though I did wear a peacock feather instead of a flower at our wedding¹). In a way that makes one “more memorable and interesting” and “stand out from their competition”.

Whatcha doin’ there, peacock?

Standing out from the competition isn’t always good, as it can attract predators, too. It turns out, peacocks aren’t born with their fancy feathers, they grow into them. As a kid, my feathers marked me as a not-sot-proud member of the jacked-up-socks club for which I was teased incessantly, to the point of tears. So while I stood out, it was not necessarily with the effect I wanted.

High school is when I started to grow into my plumage in earnest.  Thrift store purchases and classic threads found in my dad’s old boxes in the attic made up a significant part of my wardrobe.  They made up my identity so much so that my first AOL Instant Messenger screen name² was CastrolOil, named after a vest I found in the basement that my dad had from his advertising days where they were a client of his.³

I jumped head first into the thrift store scene in college: #1 Dad, University of Alaska Museum, ‘80s Camp t-shirts; deep-V polyester polo shirts, silk button-downs with unique prints, old-man golf pants. 

Entering Corporate America, I knew that the Rodney-Dangerfield-in-Caddyshack look had to go. Dress pants and a button-down were the contemporary uniform. Many men go with crazy socks, which I always applaud, and have dabbled in myself.⁴ But I wanted to stretch the boundaries a bit and added a twist: patterned shirts and colored pants. My shirts have skewed towards flora and fauna; flowers and birds mostly. My pants towards pastels like the aforementioned salmon, along with teal, purple, sea green, baby blue and red. I own a blue suit with pink lining which great for giving presentations and dancing in at weddings, but not a fitting match for funerals. 

Like a peacock, I can hide my feathers when needed.  Sometimes, dressing normally can cause a reaction in those who know me well: I recently went golfing with a few colleagues and shocked them with how conservatively I was dressed: khaki pants and a dark blue polo.⁵

As a bit of a bright spot during the pandemic, my peacocking gave people something to look forward to when joining a Zoom call wondering what new print I would be bringing to the conversation. And just like peacocks can fake it - they let out copulatory calls even when not in the act as a way to attract females - when I’m not feeling great, I go deeper into the colors and patterns as a way to try to improve my mood by seeing how it brightens others’ demeanors.

Ironically, I haven’t found that peacocking leads to decision fatigue for me. I know I’m always going to be dressed in a way that stands out from the crowd. And even if it did, I think it’s worth the price of admission as life is too short for both American cheese and black turtlenecks.

At this point, I can hear those of you still following along groaning that a patterns and pastels approach isn’t for you. Good news: peacocking isn’t limited just to how you dress. There are other ways to be “more memorable and interesting”: Using pencils (not pen) and paper to take your notes instead of your computer or iPad (bonus: it helps with memory retention); Reading actual books instead of an e-reader (bonus: you can send your read copies to a friend or stranger); Doing 10,001 reps of a single exercise every month (bonus: you get to meet some great people); Carrying a kettlebell around with you at all times (I don’t do this, but he does).

It likely goes without saying that all of the above assumes you have something to back it up with. But I’ll say it anyway: all of the above assumes you have something to back it up with. In fact, standing out so boldly requires you to work double time to make sure you can still deliver. Otherwise, you’re just a clown in salmon-colored pants, still memorable and interesting, but not necessarily for the right reasons.

So tell us: what do your feathers look like?

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in case you missed it

Let’s have a look at what’s been happening at project kathekon:

recently at project kathekon

• We love hearing from our community. We recently had our second community post, this time by Andrew, diving into why life is richer when lived as a mosaic. Let us know how we can help tell your story by replying to this email.

• We were reminded about the simplicity of black turtlenecks while we learned about a new approach to decision fatigue.

books, jerry. they (still) read books.

Did you know we have a book barter service at project kathekon? We now have two books to barter.  The first book on offer is Together by Dr. Vivek Murthy from Jeremy.

Our second, Lincoln’s Virtues: An Ethical Biography, was offered by Andrew.

Already read one of them? Feel free to let others know in the comments section of each to let us know what you think. Have a book to share?

join us for August’s 10thousand1 challenge

We just finished up July’s bridge hold challenge. This one was physically easier, but mentally harder than we thought it would be. So this month, we’re doing something more active:10,001 dips. Just like this guy.

Join us.

We have more in store for you. Until then, we encourage you to subscribe if you haven’t already, or share it with someone if you have already.

1. No peacocks were harmed in the making of this wedding: peacocks do not need to be killed to get their feathers as they shed them after mating season.

2. Remember those?

3. One of my life’s biggest regrets is getting rid of it for some reason. How I miss that lime green puffer.

4. Though no one can hold a candle to a still-going-strong runstreaker colleague of mine, John.

5. OK, I did wear some NERF-branded sunglasses as a single feather. A peacock doesn’t change its spots.