Same old. Nuthin’ much.
One of the most ubiquitous questions in life is “What’s new?” or some euphemism for it. Most catch ups start with, or at least include it. You probably got asked it this weekend, and if you’re like me you probably blew it off. It’s so common a way to start a conversation it’s more of a hello than hello is.
As far as a question goes it’s also an invitation - almost a dare to show if you’re audacious enough to speak your last instagram post into conversation.
The last time I heard a real answer to this question was at a Thanksgiving eve party at Jeremy’s parents house in 2009 (that it was that long ago alone IS this article) when I as a matter of greeting asked a guy we went to high school with what was new over beers.
“I started boxing,” he said. No hesitation.
“Boxing classes or, like boxing, boxing?” I figured he was passing off Billy Blanks as “boxing.”
“Like real boxing, I’ve got an amateur match in a couple of weeks. I think I’m pretty good.”
I was mind blown (also drunk, so doubly excitable). We were almost 30, who the fuck starts boxing at almost 30?
We talked about boxing, trying new things, and a rash of interesting subjects for the rest of the night. I remember waking up the next morning and thinking how incredible that conversation had been - and how bold both the confidence of, and the substance that informed the confidence of, his answer had been.
Laying in bed, hungover, preparing to gorge myself on food and drink for 12 solid hours I thought about what was new for me.
Same old. Nothin’ much.
Who the fuck starts boxing at almost 30? Someone more interesting than me at almost 30. I did some pushups, shadow boxed in front of the mirror, and resolved to have an answer for that question going forward.
But I didn’t. I kept answering the question the same stupid way, without giving it much thought. I’ve done things over the last 12 years, many of them - well some of them - new and potentially interesting. I’ve been writing here, for example, for six months and I’ve never once answered “what’s new?” with “a friend and I are writing about what being a 40 year old man in 2021 is like…” I imagine it would drive a conversation if I did.
I thought about all of this other day and it drove me to ask myself why. A lack of belief in the sincerity of the question? An absence of thoughtfulness about what I’m doing with my free time? Mostly I think it’s about hearing the question, considering it, and responding honestly.
So I’ll leave this with a challenge - have an answer next time someone asks you what’s new in your life. Value what you’re doing with your time enough to share it with someone who explicitly asks you about it. Maybe you’ll even inspire someone to shadowbox some inspiration into their day too. (Need an idea? Scroll down and join a book club or exercise group to get the ball rolling).
B
PS - The boxer made international news last year when he moved into a cave in northern India with some other tourists to wait out Covid. I don’t know what’s the chicken and what’s the egg in these two anecdotes about him - but interesting is as interesting does.
As we aim to foster a sense of community we’re doing stuff here at Project Kathekon.
We started a book club. But you know, not like a regular book club, like a cool book club. Want to read Don Quixote with us? It’s 922 pages long - it’s going to be awesome.
Every month we pick an exercise and aim for 10,001 reps. Give it a shot?
We read other books sometimes, and then we give them away. For free. FREE! Want one?